2004-03-28 - e-mail
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....
A lady walked into a hair salon with her husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" She turned around and walked back out and never went back. Her husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
Another lady was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. She was unhappy with the women's type she had been using. After browsing for several minutes, she was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help. Without thinking, she looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
Yet another lady and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of lollies and nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. she replied,
"No,I'm just looking at your nuts." her sister started to laugh
hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, her sister has never let her forget.
A three-year-old boy had a lot of problems with potty training and his mother was on him constantly. One day they stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying her taco, she smelled something funny, so of course she checked her seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then she realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so she asked him if he
needed to go,and he said "No." She kept thinking, "Oh my, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then she said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. she just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, she asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 15 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made her feel better by thanking her for the best laugh they'd ever had!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 9 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
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